My mind is everywhere...

MY MIND IS EVERYWHERE!!

OK OK B…SETTLE DOWN!...

OK it’s the little man’s birthday!

That means everything should go HIS way!
It’s his BIRTHDAY! & that’s the beauty of birthdays for kids…

It’s their perfect day! Everything goes their way! All the time you owe them or that you missed
You owe it to em’ &…. Coincidentally it’s your day off! & you don’t have a car or a life for that matter & you ain’t got shit important to do!

Just got thru blowin on a fck’d up ass joint in you now fck’d up joint roller dat my brother ass borrowed & broke (he smoked with his heavy handed ass barber who broke) it!!!!!!!!
…lol
Anyway, yea I just blew on da balcony eating sum hot leftover pan crust pizza wit a root beer (that I didn’t take a sip a sip of not ONCE while I was out there!) …in the cold! Wit flip-flops on!! (Talkin to by my nigga Eezy on da cell)
I came in & Jacque was looking for me…

I told him where I was… “On the balcony” & he’s like “huh?”

Lol…so I say I was “outside in moms room” & go’z “ooooh”

So he asks if I can show his how to do something on his Nintendo DS India Jones Lego game…
So I says “yea, go get it!”

& he goes & come backs before I even sit down!

& why not hang out with him! He’s a cool ass kid!

He’s the kid that’s playing a team player game making the player fight each other!!!
LMAO!!!

& he’s funny as hell!!

But anyway…Michele & Bryan are on the way so ima press pause on dis…

For a sec I thought they were “selling me wolves…” (( tee-hee ))

But damn.

…im cheatin da kidd.

I’m typin this on HIS time…
Damn I’m fck’n up!!


… (7:39 PM)


Ok… (9:10)


Theory: People that are not compatible should not have sex for possibilities that a child will result from it.


My mom & my dad.


Now look what we got!!

I mean the result CAN BE beautiful BUT it’s a serious risk.

You pray that the child turns out to be a good person.

If I didn’t know my mama…
I would not fck wit my mama.
Period.

I remember being mad that my dad wasn’t there but I always knew I wanted him around & I’ve always been just like him!

But see I understand all this…

I’m only 2o.

I know 24 year olds who don’t know how to get it together…

anyway...i have a plan & i think it's gonna go well for me = )

time will tell.

I finally read my April VIBE issue with T.I. on the cover

& he says, "Nothing every really is as bad as it seems...." & he keeps telling himself "this too shall pass"

& dat's real.

im gonna miss him.

but i look at his situation & mine & i see a big difference.

proof of the truth in what he said.

this too SHALL pass.

..a piece of my ((random)) thought process. ....sharing is caring.

see i love my brother because he's such a character!...

scraggly ass lil boi!
BUT he's funny!!

we talk about old stories & he makes me remember..

& he helps me realize what planet my mama & sister come from!
((da two of dem are JUST alike!))

anyway...

we blo & talk about growing up (with his daddy-deceased) & his family... ((I love them♥))
they're good people...
but a few of em are crazy!.


see his dad
& my mom

together...

created a disaster.. my sister.

& by brother...he's crazy but he's got good sense! & he's limited, think...but hey, i am a bit of a dreamer... =)

see me...
i, thankfully, take after my dad (side) mostly. so im da outkast of dis joint. da eightball.. (ha! *click ((epiphany!))...THAT'S why i love 8. & my name has 8 letters...dnt mind me..im a weirdo.)

forward we move...

i take after my dad...

see me & the little one both take after ours dads...
that's what we got in common...(ah..I lOVE COMMON.) tee-hee..

but see his dad different than mine...

my dad's got his "issues" but he's makin progress....
not say'n his dad isn't cause he got his issues too but he's makin it..
no punt intended whatsoever.....

yea well that's jus something i've just realized...
i write it down so i'll remember it...

i think it's intresting (that's why i decided to share; sharing is caring), it's almost like i heard it for the first time!!!
cause I can't remember shit!

& it's like that's what i think's makin me crazy...
i've been around her so long...the part of her in me is becoming more like her! (lol-you'll have to excuse me, i'm high. "now you become what you once despised" )

but see i wanna get AWAY!
i kno i dnt wanna become it so i'll run from it!

real talk.

adapt to somethin different.
somethin better.
get away!
explore new things.
meet new people.
surround myself with people i can really LEARN from.

submerge myself into who i wish to become.

(.....damn im poetic♥.)
(( & i get that from my daddy..))

so i'm leaving.....
& eventually i'll fly = /

i wanna move to Chicago....
& ATl ...

then come back to Houston....maybe.

but that's all for the future.
my next stop is Beaumont.

lol.
i kno. it's small, but cha gotta start somewhere♥...

so i guess this is something important after all..... = )

& i find that that's how i do things sometimes...backwards....

i'll do it then i'll "figure out" why i did it afterward...lol weird i kno...

if you kno me KNO ME...u kno. lol

i.e. my tattoo of the hummingbird. i knew i wanted it bad. wasn't sure what it meant but..well i guess i just learned somethin bout myself =) btw...lOOOVE the "me" time. Or what I like to say the "B" time.

my instincts are goood.
they're GREAT.
even though i dnt always follow... = /

im learning...right?.